WELLBEING

WHAT IS LONELINESS?

Loneliness is an unpleasant emotional response to perceived isolation. Loneliness is also described as social pain—a psychological mechanism which motivates individuals to seek social connections. It is often associated with an unwanted lack of connection and intimacy.

 

We all feel lonely from time to time. Feelings of loneliness are personal, so everyone's experience of loneliness will be different.

One common description of loneliness is the feeling we get when our need for rewarding social contact and relationships is not met. But loneliness is not always the same as being alone.

 

You may choose to be alone and live happily without much contact with other people, while others may find this a lonely experience. Or you may have lots of social contact, or be in a relationship or part of a family, and still feel lonely – especially if you don't feel understood or cared for by the people around you. 

 

It can be hard to find friends who get us or can relate to our experiences. Social media can make us feel extremely isolated, especially if we are being bullied or feel disconnected from the ‘perfect lives’ we see. Even if we have loads of followers, it can feel like everyone else is surrounded by friends and loved ones and having a good time; this can make things feel much harder when we are feeling alone and not sure who to turn to for support.

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WHAT CAUSES LONELINESS?

One common description of loneliness is the feeling we get when our need for rewarding social contact and relationships is not met. But loneliness is not always the same as being alone.

 

We all experience feeling lonely in different ways. This means there is a range of ways we can try to overcome loneliness, and we need to identify the help and support that works for us. It's really important to remember that loneliness and difficult feelings can pass.

 

While loneliness is a feeling we can all relate to, sometimes admitting we feel lonely is much harder. We want people to talk more openly about feeling lonely and the impact that loneliness can have.

 

Sometimes it can feel easier to reach out to someone else who may be feeling lonely. You may choose to be alone and live happily without much contact with other people, while others may find this a lonely experience. Or you may have lots of social contacts, or be in a relationship or part of a family, and still feel lonely – especially if you don't feel understood or cared for by the people around you.

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CAN LONELINESS AFFECT MENTAL HEALTH?

Feeling lonely isn't in itself a mental health problem, but the two are strongly linked. Having a mental health problem can increase your chance of feeling lonely. Or you may experience social phobia – also known as social anxiety – and find it difficult to engage in everyday activities involving other people, which could lead to a lack of meaningful social contact and cause feelings of loneliness.

 

Feeling lonely can also have a negative impact on your mental health, especially if these feelings have lasted a long time. Some research suggests that loneliness is associated with an increased risk of certain mental health problems, including depression, anxiety, low self-esteem, sleep problems and increased stress.

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Loneliness has many different causes, which vary from person to person. We don't always understand what it is about an experience that makes us feel lonely.

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WHAT CAN CAUSES LONELINESS?

Loneliness has no common cause. Sometimes it can be triggered by a life event or change in the situation, or it may not be triggered by anything at all.

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​For some people, certain life events may mean they feel lonely. Other people find they feel lonely at certain times of the year, such as around Christmas. Some people experience deep and constant feelings of loneliness that come from within and do not disappear, regardless of their social situation or how many friends they have.

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For some people, certain life events may mean they feel lonely, such as:

 

• experiencing a bereavement

• going through a relationship break-up

• retiring and losing the social contact you had at work

• changing jobs and feeling isolated from your co-workers

• starting at university

• moving to a new area or country without family, friends or community networks.

• Other people find they feel lonely at certain times of the year, such as around Christmas.

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WHO FEELS LONELINESS MOST OFTEN?

Some research suggests that people who live in certain circumstances or belong to particular groups are more vulnerable to loneliness. For example, if you:

 

• have no friends or family

• are estranged from your family

• are a single parent or care for someone else – you may find it hard to maintain a social life

• belong to minority groups and live in an area without others from a similar background

• are excluded from social activities due to mobility problems or a shortage of money

• experience discrimination and stigma because of a disability or long-term health problem, including mental health problems

• experience discrimination and stigma because of your gender, race or sexual orientation 

• have experienced sexual or physical abuse – you may find it harder to form close relationships with other people.